With all the horrific deaths & casualties still happening in conflicts around the world, I find it almost impossible to think about the 1st Gulf War. Soldiers dying and being maimed has an everlasting visual effect and I am grateful that I still have my life. Dying or losing a limb(s) is unthinkable and I praise the soldiers who lay their lives down for their Countries and I mourn those who don’t return. In every War there are casualties and in the 1st Gulf War the casualties suffered in a different way. I don’t know what happened and most likely will never know, we were injected with chemicals in untested combinations which could have merged together with unknown results. There are a thousand things that could have occurred and a million excuses as to why they didn’t. I never regret joining the Army; I do regret how they treated me. I had a promising career which ended after I returned from the desert... You make up your own minds.
To be awarded a 70% disablement pension might seem to be a financial benefit, but to be able to live a normal life again would be my one wish. Struggling with one’s inner self takes its toll. The inability to live a life without worrying about what mood will raise its ugly head, just eats away at one’s existence.
The Army discarded me like it would dispose of a broken down truck, unwanted on the scrape heap and forgotten. ‘No longer fit to serve’, was their classification of my discharge, there was no follow up treatment or contact with me after leaving.
Do not be put off by my bitter attitude, this site will show you how we endured the Gulf War and how many have been left to suffer.
Prior to the Gulf War my life was entertaining, enjoyable, easy going but most of all it was mine. Now each day is a living hell, it’s like leaning over a cliff just waiting to fall off. The line between sanity and insanity is so fine it’s almost invisible, reality no longer exists and although the War ended many years prior the fight still continues within my head.
To experience my inner feelings, read the poetry and stories within this site and indulge yourself in what the First Gulf War was really about, not the politics that the agenda of War was based upon. Know what those who laid their life on the line for, really experienced and how they are left to suffer whilst the Government side-steps the truth.
Our time out there consisted of; Honour, Horror, Humour, Disgust and Disappointment, yet all those now seem to have become one feeling, ANGER.
We were but pawns in a global game of chess, exploited, used and then forgotten. In past wars and conflicts the story is always the same, when the hero returns the world soon forgets the sacrifices they had to make. We make a concerted effort to honour the dead with memorial services, we stand in awe of the veterans of past with their rows of medals, yet no-one apart from the Vet’s themselves really know what happened. The media glorify the fight, they relish in victory, but they forget the suffering that lasts an eternity for those who served. Everyone wants to show their appreciation by remembering the sacrifices that were made at the time; no-one wants to hear of the suffering when it is all finished. Remembering our past, (11th November), one out of three hundred and sixty five days is nothing but an excuse and an insult to not only the fallen hero’s but the DEAD THAT ARE STILL LIVING...........
Life was so beautiful, before the Gulf Tour,
It’s drastic how you change in War.
Your hopes and dreams are ripped away,
You end up living day to day.
No longer plans for future life,
As no one deals with pain and strife.
Pastures green have now turned black,
Enthusiasm, one does lack.
A shattered life is hard to mend,
All one has now, is the END.