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Is it all in the mind?                                  The answer is yes!

Yes it is all in the mind, the brain, a complex assortment of neurons firing positive and negative charges of different strengths, all the received charges are added together through the processes of spatial and temporal summation. The aggregate input is then passed to the soma, if the aggregate input is greater than the axon hillock's threshold value, then the neuron fires, and an output signal is transmitted down the axon.

I know it makes no sense to me either, in layman’s terms it means if everything up top is firing on all four cylinders then you should be OK. In my case something has got into the engine and contaminated it, causing a backfire. All I do know is something has gone wrong inside and I’m driving around in a vehicle that isn’t working correctly.

To the sceptics out there, what possible motive could I have to make up such a tale, what would be the point. I never asked to be Medically Discharged from the Army, I was the perfect soldier. My grades & reports were exemplary, I had a faultless career, up until 1990 (pre Gulf) and I dedicated my life to the Military. I was an ideal example of a British Soldier even being awarded the British Empire Medal whilst serving in the Gulf. On my return from the Gulf I knew there was something wrong with me, I even tried to laugh it off pretending every thing was fine. I was not the same person that had gone to the Gulf but who could I tell, there was nothing or no-one available. I did on one occasion go and see the Family’s Officer, whose advise was, “Don’t get the Army involved in this matter, it could stay with you for the rest of your Army Career”. At the time it seemed like sound advice, why ruin a career over something that might have been nothing and would hopefully go away. Yet why is it, fourteen years on, I’m still on 60mg of Prozac a day, Zopiclone to help me sleep and see psychiatrists on a regular basis. Why did the Army post me to the Queen Elizabeth Military Hospital, Woolwich and have me dosed up on Chlorpromazine & Amitriptyline (Anti depressants / Anti psychotic drugs) Why do I get a Army War Pension, classified at 70%, the whys go one and on but there are never any answers. Who holds the results from a bone biopsy and blood tests I had at a hospital in Northampton, where are the results from a Neurological investigation at a hospital in Glasgow by Dr. Goran Jamal. Where are the reports from a Harley Street visit to see Mr. Cosmos Halstrom and why do none of these reports / results find their way to my GP. I know why, it’s because much like my condition, it and they do not exist, it is and was all, a figment of my imagination – SURREAL